My sisters and I would go out every chance we got to clubs like the inner sanctum at the Leister airport and the comic strip at Lincoln square. We would find a way to get beer before we got there and drink it before we went in. once my sister had a license and a car we were free liberated from the horror we had known. We did manage to not get in any real trouble. How I don’t know but we sure did have a good time. This did not last long as my sisters graduated and went to work and left home.
Drinking continued through high school and on in the navy and after. It would not stop till I found myself in prison years later. I must point out at this point that I found other mind altering substances when I was 16 that changed the course of my life, drinking was not ever going to ease my pain and these other things did. At least they took me to other realities where I did not feel the pain from this one.
I was fortunate that availability of both alcohol and other things came and went at a rate allowing me to survive. What I mean by this is if I had less or more at any point it is entirely possible I would have committed suicide. I don’t know what the control was; in the past I often thought it was economics. I am sure this played a part, although sometimes I think my subconscious had a large part to play as well. I am sure that a force larger than me protected me as I should have been dead many times over. Some of my friends can attest to this fact. There were controls I put in place out of fear I suppose, one I told myself I would never use needles, another was I told myself I would never buy cocaine, I managed to keep these rules and looking back I am sure they saved my life.